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Computer Cleanup

As summer ended, my three girls headed off to school after a very long summer. Let’s call the summer of 2020 sprummer; the never-ending spring that merged into summer. I sat down one morning to begin the herculean effort of organizing my life. After six months of girls talking non-stop throughout my day, my house was silent. The non-stop chatter and fighting had made it almost impossible to complete a thought or task.

I sat excitedly in front of my computer; my to-do list at my side. I was ready to tackle as many items as humanly possible. As I flipped from website to website sending emails, ordering supplies for kids, or filling out activity registration forms, my computer couldn’t keep up. Its lazy pace was making me frustrated and stunting my productivity.

I decided maybe my computer needed to reboot, so I shut it down. When I powered the computer back up again, its speed was significantly improved. Whatever was causing the sluggishness had been cleared up.

This reminds me of our faith journey. Every morning is like a reboot.

Lamentations 3:22 says, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

God’s mercies are new EVERY morning! Not some mornings, every morning. What fantastic news!

We can experience a reboot every day. What does this look like? It means taking our good and bad from yesterday and giving it to God.

“You have been set free from sin.” (Romans 6:22). He gives us a new day, a second chance, and the ability to walk in all the ways He commands us with freedom. Because of His sacrifice, our sins are forgiven.

This glorious news means we don’t have to walk around carrying the burdens from yesterday.

Have you had a reboot lately?

Bible, blessings, coronavirus, extroverts, faith, Family, God, introverts, Jesus, moms, nature, parenting, quiet, religious, scripture, spiritual

Silence for the Steady

I am an introvert. I discovered this knowledge just a few years ago. It was extremely insightful in understanding why I get overwhelmed during the day while caring for my kids. One-third of our society are introverts. Susan Cain shares these details in her book called Quiet, the Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Introverts get recharged in silence and in our own thoughts.

Females tend to speak approximately 20,000 words a day and I have three precious girls (you do the math – that’s a lot of words being spoken). I relish the laughter, the conversations, and even the rollercoaster of emotions, but the last six months has proven extremely challenging.

I used to feel guilty and believe I should be able to force myself to handle the constant noise. However, when I ignore who I am, I end up exhausted, overwhelmed, and in a bad mood. I recommend Cain’s book even for extroverts because most likely you are married to an introvert, or have introverted kids. The awareness can guide you in making wise decisions.

For example, with my girls, I have two extroverts and one introvert. I make sure to encourage my introverted daughter to get some alone time during the day. If not, she gets overwhelmed and lashes out at her sisters. 

In the past few years, I learned techniques to prevent myself from becoming depleted. This spring and summer have proven especially difficult as most things were canceled. After Months and months of continuous noise, I found myself unable to concentrate and feeling anxious.

This past weekend I found a quiet space outside (thank you God for cooler weather). I read, wrote in my journal, and had time in reflection. I felt reinvigorated. The alone time did wonders towards restoring my overall mindset.

Sometimes we push ourselves to the limits thinking we can will ourselves to be someone we are not. Instead, God gently reminds us who we are. He made us this way and He loves who we are. He gently reminded me this weekend that I need to carve out more space for quiet so I can hear myself think and hear Him.

When was the last time you found quiet in your life?

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Fishing for Fulfillment

Sometimes it’s about the journey rather the finish line.

On a refreshingly cool summer day, a friend and I adventured to a nearby lake with our girls. The kids played in the water, rode boats, and ran through the sand. About halfway through the day, my friend pulled out kid fishing rods. I cringed. I have watched my husband spend hours untangling these rods. This was not how I envisioned my afternoon.

She took the rods out of the package and handed them to the kids. Typically, the next step would be to remove the plastic fish and replace it with a hook and bate. None of this happened.

The kids ran off. I observed them on the dock for about thirty minutes, I couldn’t contain my curiosity anymore. What were they doing? They had no hook, no bait, and no tackle box. How could they be fishing?

I strolled to the dock and observed the production as the kids stuffed leftover lunch in the tip top (top ring on the rod). They rubbed food on the plastic fish. The rod wasn’t getting tangled because there was no hook. Turtles even swam up and ate the food! They didn’t catch any fish but they were using their imagination and having a blast.

My performance-oriented mind was astounded. I returned to my friend and reported back. She didn’t seem phased at all.

As I shared this story with my husband, he immediately understood my incredulity. His response matched what was going on in my head. “How can you win, how can you catch fish and master this activity if you don’t have a hook?” He was joking of course but understood my bemusement. The thought of fishing without a hook is beyond us.

I learned a good lesson that day. Sometimes the goal isn’t what you think. In my head, the goal of fishing is to catch fish. My wise friend knew better. In this case, the “winning” was in the journey, not the outcome.

This reminds me of our journey with God. We set goals and feel frustrated and defeated when they don’t happen. What if the goal was wrong? Maybe our end goal isn’t God’s end goal.

Maybe it’s not about catching the fish, but rather what you do with the rod.

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Bringing the brightness. Are you struggling to find or provide the joy in your day?

Two of my three girls were about to get tonsil surgery and I knew the next 14 days would involve ample time at home playing nurse. I purchased two empty flower baskets to hang just outside my kitchen window. Just like you, I spend quite a bit of time at the kitchen sink.

I wanted to fill the baskets with bright and beautiful flowers so I could gaze at them when I needed a moment. I was hoping their allure would help give me an energy boost.

The flower pictured is a common lantana. It’s my new favorite flower. When I spotted it in the nursery, I knew it was exactly what I was looking for. Orange is my favorite color and I was enchanted with how one flower could encompass so many gorgeous colors. I learned later it even repels mosquitos. Bonus.

As new blooms sprouted, they emerged solid yellow. As my daughter and I examined the blooms, we wondered what happened to all the beautiful colors? Within days the orange surfaced, and eventually pink and purple hues appeared.

This flower reminds me of our faith journey. We all bloom in God’s timing and our petals look slightly different. We are unique and special yet made in God’s image by the same Creator. He disperses us all over so our blooms can bless others.

Because God created us, He cares for our every need including fertilizing our soil. His living water refreshes us so we can grow and bloom. Sometimes we present colors we didn’t even know existed.

Are you looking hard enough to find bright spots in your life? Or can you provide beauty to someone else?

Seek Him who made you, so He can be your living water (John 4:13-14).

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Verifying Voices

It was a rainy Tuesday morning and I was headed to the bank to rummage through our safety deposit box. My mission was to find my husband’s passport. We were preparing to travel and were gathering the necessary documents to gain TSA approval.

Inside the bank, I requested access to our box. The employee informed me I was not on the account. I asked if we could call my husband and have him add me over the phone. I learned they could do this if an employee at the bank had enough encounters with him that they could verify his voice. I thought this slightly odd but anxiously awaited their response. Had he frequented the bank enough that his voice could be identified over the phone?

A teller spoke up saying she knew who he was and could verify his voice. We made the call and I gained access to the box. This incident affirmed my husband’s personality. His friendly demeanor and tall stature make him easily recognizable. While my attempts to find the passport were unsuccessful, the encounter got me thinking.

I thought about God and how He knows our distinct and unique voice. He knows the tone and cadence better than anybody. After all He is the one who created us. In addition to our voice, He knows our desires and our thoughts. God discerns when we are praising or protesting. He understands when we hurt so greatly we cannot even form words together.

God recognizes our voice but the real question is, do we know His? Are we taking time in our day to make space and learn His voice? He is not going to yell at us through the frenzy, we have to create stillness to hear Him. “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

communication, coronavirus, dog, faith, Family, introverts, Jesus, journal, nature, religious, spiritual, Uncategorized, women

Dialect with Dogs

My husband jokes that my dog and I have our own language.

Our Labrador retriever named Casey is fourteen and-a-half years old. What large dog lives that long? I’ve had multiple labs in my life and they never lasted much past ten. She is an anomaly and resilient.

Casey has survived six surgeries. She tore both back knees and underwent three stomach surgeries. The most recent procedure was to remove a massive growth protruding from her neck which started bleeding (gross). She was two when she had her first surgery.

In her seasoned age, she deals with arthritis, dementia (per the vet), and her vision and hearing are significantly impaired. That said, I walk her everyday morning. She has our morning routine down pat and continues to display enthusiasm during mealtimes and walks.

I hear Casey in the middle of the night, similar to a mom hearing her crying infant. I wake from a sound sleep when she stirs downstairs, letting me know she needs to go out. Recently, I went down, let her out, and crawled back to bed. Casey started barking. Not a loud bark, but brief and direct. My husband commented, “You just let her out.” I told him she wanted breakfast. I had gone back to bed instead of feeding her and she was letting me know she didn’t appreciate the change in routine.

This reminds me of our language with God. The powerful and all-knowing Holy Spirit lives inside us ready to be utilized… if we can learn to recognize Its voice. This is not easy, nor happens quickly. It took years for Casey and I to develop our way of communicating.

Learning to hear God takes time, practice, and effort. Reading our Bible, praying, and sitting in silence (yes, silence) are ways to commune with God. The Holy Spirit is present, waiting to assist you with every problem. God won’t yell over the noise of the world, we have to carve out time to cultivate a dialect with Him.

Casey has blessed our family for many years, and although my time with her will eventually cease, thankfully my steadfast communication with the Lord is everlasting.

blessings, coronavirus, faith, Family, introverts, Jesus, nature, parenting, positivity, religious, spiritual, water

Pandemic brings Perspective

Oh, how our perspective and mindsets have changed due to the endless ripples of the coronavirus. We have been humbled and become thankful for the little things we used to take for granted like eating out, gathering with friends, and school being open. 

As life outside our home begins to open, we took a trip to the beach to celebrate the conclusion of school and gain a much-needed change in scenery. We were all craving a change of pace.

We drove 7.5 hrs south to Tybee Island, GA, a drive which normally would have included much grumbling, fighting and plenty of “when will we be there?” While the car was full of beach towels, chairs, luggage, and a guinea pig, it was absent of any fussing and complaining. We were so excited to be going somewhere… anywhere. 

Everyone’s summer plans have been altered. We had an epic trip to Alaska planned this June with my family which was canceled. It’s amazing how our perspective has been modified. A trip to the beach hardly seems comparable to an Alaskan adventure, yet somehow it was.  

We were elated at the crashing waves, gritty sand, and open restaurants. Our kids were grateful for the beach getaway. They didn’t care where we were or what we were doing, they were thankful not to be at home. 

In today’s society, it’s challenging to raise children who aren’t entitled. It’s not our intention, but rather a byproduct of our current culture. Our schedules revolve around their activities, how can they not be slightly self-centered? 

God uses all things for good including the coronavirus. While I can name many disappointments and frustrations about this timeframe, I can also list surprise blessings such as enhanced gratitude and appreciation. What a good, yet painful lesson we are all learning.

In the past, a trip to the beach might have been viewed as normal and maybe even mundane, suddenly it became anything but. It brought us back in touch with our Creator and the beautiful world He designed. 

What have you learned to be grateful for during this time?

blessings, brain, coronavirus, faith, Family, introverts, Jesus, journal, nature, parenting, positivity, religious, spiritual, Uncategorized, women

Blessings for the Brain

During the coronavirus era, I have my good and bad days just like you. Some days I love the fact I don’t have to put on real clothes and leave my house. Other days, I feel like a hamster running on a wheel surrounded by walls closing in on me. In reality, I am super blessed to have my health, a home, and food in the fridge. However, in the midst of groundhogs day, it’s understandable to pass over the positives and focus on the negatives. It can be a struggle to find the blessings.

The first week during quarantine was one of the hardest. I grieved the loss of everything I wouldn’t be doing. I knew it was critical to continue my morning routine and get up early to read my Bible and have time with God. Most mornings I went through the motions without feeling filled with the Spirit, but I did it anyway. I decided to utilize a tool I learned at a class on anxiety, gratitude. You can shift your brain’s patterns by giving thanks.

To shift my mindset to a positive place, I committed to journal every morning five blessings from the day before. Five things I could point to and give appreciation to God for. The first week was tricky. I struggled to come up with five. I reached and grabbed for anything and everything I could call a blessing; reading to the kids… blessing, dinner on the table… blessing, no bloodshed… blessing, everyone alive… blessing.

As weeks progressed, the blessings were easier to uncover because I was looking for them. As they occurred, I spotted them and was excited to write them down in my journal the next morning. Oh how this has helped my mindset! Now, I see them everywhere because I have trained my mind to seek them out. 

It’s easy to identify the difficulties in our day, but can you spot the blessings? Try writing down the good things that occur. Call it a blessing and give the Lord thanks. If you do this daily you will be amazed at the transformation which can occur. You will also have wonderful memories recorded from this time to look back on.

coronavirus, faith, Family, introverts, Jesus, nature, parenting, Parks, religious, spiritual, water, women

Step by Step

This photo was captured at Maymont Park in Richmond, VA. This 100-acre estate is complete with rolling hills, picturesque gardens, and plentiful wildlife making it the perfect Friday field trip while homeschooling. 

As we sauntered along the Japanese gardens, my children found much joy crossing the stone steps. They exuberantly leaped from step to step. 

This reminds me of our journey with God. God wants us to take one step at a time, humbly submitting to Him along the way. On the other hand, we want to reach the other side without actually having to carefully land on each step. We want to know the ending without actually having to experience the pain and suffering. We often discount the importance of each step even though it has been strategically placed there by our all-knowing Father to teach and mold us.

Each path looks different. Mine might veer right and yours to the left. I need to remain on my stones and not try to hop over to yours. Sometimes we end up going backward or sideways and kerplunk into the water. The good news is, God is there with His outstretched hand, pulling us out of the water, drying us off, and putting us back on the path. “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.” (Psalm 37:23)

We have a desire to control life and predict the future. We want to feel confident it’s all going to work out. We thirst for assurance that the story will have a happy ending. 

God will often bless us with a preview or a vision of what’s to come. Other times, He gives us just enough information to see the step ahead. Occasionally, there is no sneak peek and He asks us to tread blindly and trust in Him to land safely.

The great news is, He is with us the entire time. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5) 

Worry not about the bend ahead, seek Him for wisdom and guidance and He will show you the way.

coronavirus, extroverts, faith, Family, introverts, Jesus, parenting, religious, spiritual, Uncategorized, women

Introvert vs Coronavirus

In my thirties I discovered I am an introvert. Before this realization I desperately tried to be an extrovert because who doesn’t want to be the fun, gregarious, life of the party? After swimming upstream for years, my body and soul eventually paid the price for trying to be something I am not.

Susan Cain wrote a fascinating book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. Cain’s research illustrates a cultural bias towards extroverts, giving us a desire to exhibit such traits. Introverts have their own positive attributes when embraced.

After learning I was an introvert, I modified habits to create space for quiet in my day. Silence isn’t a bonus, it’s a requirement for me to be the best version of myself. Pre coronavirus I was doing a pretty good job of managing the noise. Now, we are home together all the time and a new routine must be crafted.

I am blessed with three beautiful girls. As you know females talk a lot, about twenty-thousand words a day. For me, multiplied by three, that’s a lot of words to absorb.

Introverts recharge with silence. This isn’t a selfish desire, it’s a fact. Constant noise drains me. I rejuvenate with activities such as walking, sitting in nature, reading, napping, writing, and being in silence. I struggle to hear God and my own thoughts amid commotion.

The coronavirus quarantine proves challenging. If you are an introvert with young kids you can relate. When the noise in the house reaches unbearable levels, I go for a walk or distance myself so I can re-enter and flourish the remainder of the day. These days are long and tiring, we must be aware of our needs to best take care of others.

On the other hand, extroverts are missing social stimulation. If I refuel, I am better equipped to fill the needs of my extroverted family members.

Carve out quiet, permit down time, and create healthy boundaries. I openly tell my kids mom needs a break and I sequester myself away from others. I recognize when the noise is overwhelming and give myself permission to walk away and regroup.

I get up early to absorb quiet and have time with God. I need Him to speak Scripture into my life. I fill my head and heart with the truth before the day begins.

Regardless of whether we are an introvert or extrovert, God crafted us this way, let’s embrace it and use it for His glory.